Nov 2018

Pain of Regret

How To Prevent Regret

The past is a powerful force that can hold you hostage if you let it. But the call of the future is stronger, and its beckoning to you to let go of the pain and negative experiences that have held you back so you can finally become all you can be.

Too many people look back at the end of their lives with regret, wishing they had let bygones be bygones, or had stopped allowing something or someone else to control their lives. But at the end, there’s nothing you can do except release what you can and feel regret for a life not well-lived. Don’t wait till the end to try to get your life in order, or to have the realizations that you’ve been only a pawn in life. But though a person who lives with regrets is losing out on a life of freedom, others are also affected. People around you, including your friends and family, miss out on knowing and being known by the real you.

If you’ve been continuing on in a repeated pattern of failure because you are still carrying the pain of experiences that happened today, yesterday or long ago, you’ll never be able to medicate yourself enough with work, success or anything to fill the void you feel. The emptiness will continue to grow and deepen, and you’ll continue to simmer in unforgiveness. And one day, just like others who have come to that point before, you will regret that you never let go of your anger and forgave.

Forgiveness isn’t easy. And it doesn’t mean you’re saying that whatever happened is okay. But it’s necessary so that you can be free from anger, resentment and one day, regret.

Let it go

Today, you can let go of pain, resentment, anger for what may have happened, and all the negative, toxic emotions you feel. How? By accepting that they happened, and turning your eyes to the future. A future in which you are a better person because you’ve received healing from this past.

What pain have you been holding onto? How has it affected your life? Who do you need to forgive? How will acceptance and forgiveness affect you, your future and your loved ones?

Forgive And Move Into Your Future

Forgive and move into your future

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget. And it doesn’t mean you and the person you forgive will be best friends. It simply means you are choosing to let go of the anger and desire to make someone pay for what they’ve done. It means you are freeing yourself so you can go on living your fullest life without the shackles of anger and negativity. This foundational step will put you on the right path toward achieving real and lasting success in anything you put your mind to.

But how do you forgive?

You must realize that no matter how terrible the offense, forgiveness is possible. But you must make the choice to forgive.

Make a list of anyone who has hurt you. This list might go way back, even to your school days. Sometimes our deepest hurts stem from a small incident that we took to heart, letting it shape the rest of our lives. Order your list with the most hurtful people and events at the top, and the least at the bottom. Then start the forgiveness process from the bottom up. As you release small hurts, you’ll be better able and willing to let go of the big ones.

Some people deny they are angry. Some people are visibly angry. Now is the time to expose your anger at the situation or people who affected you, along with the truth about how the anger has affected you. Commit to forgive, realizing that anger hasn’t been good to you or your attempt to live your best life. Now consider the people who hurt you with compassion, as you acknowledge the other person’s humanity and realize they are not so different from you–and may even have done the best they knew how. As your heart starts to soften, you may start to feel twinges of pain that you may have hidden away. It’s okay. This pain and the realization that you are able to forgive is what will enable you to move on. As you move through your list, little by little you’ll soon find that you’re stronger, happier and more fulfilled than ever.

Start writing out your list to begin the process of forgiveness. It’s important to record your feelings and experience as you move through the list.